The Fantasy of Perfection

The pedestals we place others on are about us, not them.

Do you have someone in your life that you look up to? When you see them, do you see perfection? A mom, a dad, or maybe even a celebrity or worker in a similar field as yourself? This is a common practice among us humble humans, and here is why I think that is. We like to nominate others who exemplify the traits we, ourselves, wish to exhibit and then exaggerate them as far as we can mentally picture. We begin to look at them as the gleaming examples that will lead the way toward our own achievements of who we wish to be. We see perfection. This gives us something to strive for that seems tangible, but it can also be an incredibly toxic trait. I speak from experience.

I, myself, am prone to hero worship, and it has led to some very unfortunate falling outs in my personal life. From teachers to coworkers and, often, even friends, I began to exaggerate their good and bad qualities, creating unrealistic expectations for any person. That is until I finally understood what I was doing. See, when you exaggerate the traits of a very real human being and they begin to fail to meet those expectations, you yourself, become outraged by this finding. You begin to feel as though they let you down, when frankly, your perspective of them is your own responsibility, not theirs. Eventually this leads you to question if they are “good enough” to remain in your company and often, it is too late to reverse the way you see them.

So, try not to put people up on a pedestal. You should be challenging yourself, not others. Besides, it is very important that you see those around you as they really are. Accepting their faults and recognizing their good traits for the way they really are. It might mean your life has less heroes, but I promise it is much more important to have many friends.

Pedestal

I lift you up
To a place you do not deserve
To a place
Higher than you can climb

I raise you above the highest clouds
Past the horizon and moon
Further than the planets and comets
And beyond comprehension of the stars

You warn me
That you shouldn’t be there
That you can’t stay there
That you’re worried you can’t come back

And I smile and nod
Pretending to understand
All the while placing you
Higher and higher

You claim it isn’t fair
What I’m doing to you
And maybe you’re right but,
I can’t help myself

See, I didn’t place you on high
For you
I did it
For me

To believe in something greater
To gaze at something better
Something worth aspiring to

Even if I had to make it up
Using the closest thing I could find
So can’t you just be flattered
And wave once in a while?

I mean, it’s so hard to see you
So high up upon that pedestal