Perceptions of Reality and Judgement

It’s funny the misconceptions we have about people. We see whatever life they paint about themselves on social media and create this image of who they are in our heads despite only having one very small piece, maybe even 10% at most, of the picture. I guess it’s just what we, as humans, do. This is the reality of judgement.

For instance, I’ve been called “spoiled” and “rich” online- and not even by strangers- by people who briefly knew me years ago who I haven’t seen in decades. And yet they immediately jump to these conclusions not because of anything I personally chose to do, rather because of the places I get sent to for work. Many of these things I have no control over if I want to keep my job. But they don’t know that. They just assume I only go to my “elitist” places. They don’t know that I find the most value out of the non-mainstream, more hidden gems that lie out there.

The only place I’ve visited for personal time since 2020 has been Cape Town (Robben Island specifically), where I volunteered on the South African Penguin Project, where I spent my days crawling under spiders and into penguin nests. We left most days covered in penguin poop yet feeling fulfilled with the work we had done.

These people pass judgement without having even a portion of my picture. They don’t see that I work three jobs. They don’t see that I work 12+ hours a day every day to live the life I want to live for myself. They don’t see that I struggle daily with burnout and frustration after fighting tooth and nail to accomplish the things I want to do for myself on top of the work. They don’t see that I choose to give back and volunteer the few times I get to pick a vacation destination for myself. They just see a “rich” white girl getting to travel and live a fun life. They don’t see (and I guess it’s a lesson for myself, too, that I could show it more) the long, excruciating hours I put into my life that allow me to be able to live admittedly well out here in California. They don’t know that if I stop working even one of my jobs, I can’t keep my house- just like most other people out there. But judgement doesn’t usually offer reason.

But I think that’s a great lesson for me and everyone out there reading this. People are vivid, 3-dimensional creatures. They are much more than what they post on their social media. Many of them are only posting the good to keep their moral up. Many of them are posting because they have to (for a lot of business nowadays, people are required to post certain things). So, when we go to social media, keep in mind you’re getting a tiny peak into a vast world that is another human life.

So, try to look at people in a new way, by understanding that you only know a small piece of their puzzle. Try your hardest not to fill in the blanks you can’t see. It’s not easy. We all do it. Every single person is guilty of judging or at least coming to our own conclusions about someone because of what they post. But if we can learn and work towards a benevolent feeling of acceptance, of understanding part of who someone is with the recognition that it is nothing but a small part of them, perhaps, we can all be a bit happier together.