The Umbrella Hat That Never Quite Took Off & 8 Other Odd Inventions

Every so often, humanity gets an idea so bold, so bizarre, so absolutely unnecessary that it has to be tried. Sometimes, those odd inventions change the world — like sliced bread or Wi-Fi. And other times… well, they just end up in the “What were they thinking?” hall of fame. Let’s start with one of the most ridiculous, endearing, and strangely practical of them all — the umbrella hat.

The Umbrella Hat

The concept was simple: take the humble umbrella, shrink it down, and strap it to your head. Voilà: rain protection and free hands. The first known patent for an umbrella hat appeared in the late 19th century. It was marketed toward farmers, fishermen, and anyone who needed shade or shelter while keeping their hands free. On paper, it made perfect sense.

But the problem wasn’t function… it was fashion. No one wanted to look like a walking carnival attraction. That said, its spirit lives on. Every hiker who clips a portable fan to their backpack or every tech bro who invents a hands-free device owes a little debt to the humble umbrella hat. It walked so wearable tech could run.

The Baby Cage

In 1930s London, fresh air was considered essential for a baby’s health — but not everyone had a backyard. The solution? A wire “baby cage” that could be attached to an apartment window like an air-conditioning unit.

Parents would pop their infants inside and let them nap several stories above ground, safely contained (in theory) in a metal box with mesh sides. Photos from the time show smiling moms leaning out of their windows while babies dangle above the street. Unsurprisingly, the baby cage fad didn’t last — probably because it gave every passerby a minor heart attack.

The Pedal-Powered Hair Dryer

In the 1890s, long before Dyson and ionic technology, an enterprising inventor came up with a way to dry hair using sheer leg strength.

The design looked like a stationary bike with a hose attached. As you pedaled, air was forced through the tube and blown onto your hair. It was part workout, part beauty routine — and all absurd. It worked, technically, but unless you were training for the Tour de France, you’d probably end up sweaty before your hair was even halfway dry.

The Cigarette Umbrella

During the 1950s, smoking was everywhere — indoors, outdoors, rain or shine. And if there’s one thing a dedicated smoker hates, it’s getting their cigarette wet. Enter the cigarette umbrella: a tiny parasol, just big enough to cover your smoke, that clipped onto your cigarette.

Yes, it was real. Yes, it looked ridiculous. And yes, people actually tried it. We may laugh now, but given how much humans love accessories, it’s shocking no one’s made a “smart” version yet — something like a Bluetooth-enabled vape shield that tracks your puffs and the weather.

The Flying Car (That Didn’t Fly Very Far)

For decades, inventors have dreamed of a car that could take off and soar through the skies. And believe it or not, several people have actually built them. The most famous early attempt came in 1949 with the Aerocar — a vehicle with wings that could be detached and towed behind it like a trailer. It actually worked, it flew, and it was FAA-approved.

But only six were ever made. Turns out, the dream of a flying commute was crushed by practicality. They were too expensive, too heavy, and too terrifying for the average driver. Still, the dream never died. Every few years, a new company pops up promising to revolutionize travel. Until then, we’ll just have to settle for traffic jams — and hope our cars at least have cup holders that don’t spill.

The Toilet Paper Hat (Yes, Really)

In the 1980s, Japanese inventors came up with a way to always have tissues handy — literally. The “toilet paper hat” was a small roll of tissue mounted on a headband, so you could pull off a sheet whenever you needed to wipe sweat, tears, or (apparently) your nose.

It was marketed as a convenience for people with allergies or colds. But unless you enjoy looking like a walking bathroom accessory, it didn’t exactly scream “fashion-forward.” Still, it’s hard to argue with the logic. Sneezes don’t wait.

The Bicycle Piano

In the early 20th century, a French musician named Jean Eugène Robert dreamed of bringing music to the streets — literally. So he built a piano on wheels and pedaled it around town, performing impromptu concerts wherever he pleased.

It was equal parts art and chaos. The contraption combined a bike, a piano, and the raw determination of one man who refused to choose between cardio and creativity. It never became a commercial hit (you can’t exactly park it in your living room), but it did cement its place as one of the world’s most delightfully pointless inventions.

The Portable Sauna Suit

Before modern gyms, “sweating it out” was the go-to health craze. In the 1960s, companies started selling wearable saunas — full-body plastic suits that trapped heat and made you sweat profusely.

They were advertised as instant weight-loss miracles. You could burn calories, detox your body, and look slimmer, all while mowing the lawn or watching TV. Of course, what actually happened was dehydration and dizziness. But hey, at least you looked like a futuristic trash bag while doing it.

The Cat-Mew Machine

In 1963, a Japanese inventor created a device designed to scare away rodents — a box that “meowed” like a cat at random intervals. It was battery-powered and came with an adjustable meow volume (because apparently, that was important).

The problem? The sound was so realistic that it ended up scaring people, too. One report said neighbors complained that they couldn’t sleep because they thought a cat was trapped inside the wall. It sold poorly, but honestly, it deserves an A+ for effort.