Developing Empathy: Putting Yourself in Other People’s Shoes

I doubt I’m the only person who feels that we are living in a time when emotions are heightened. I mean, the stakes sure do feel a lot higher than they did just a few years ago. We’re on the brink of profound change, and the whole universe can feel it. In these times, we should take extra caution and care to pay attention to our feelings with empathy so as not to get swept into the negativity around us.

When someone cuts you off or is rude to you it’s easy to become hurt and offended—a response you might carry with you for the rest of your day. It may even ruin your entire day.

You might react with anger and say something you’d instantly regret, which will never help, either. It’s cliché, but common advice suggests you learn to take the high road, not for the other person (though that would still be nice), but rather for yourself. If you handle an upset well in the moment, you will more easily and quickly release it, saving your day from the pain and frustration of holding on to that negativity. But this can be hard when you find yourself in the heightened emotions of the moment.

I’ve been experiencing such situations more and more recently. Due to these controversial times, people seem to be extra snappy, and I’m sensitive, intuitively and emotionally. So, I thought I’d share the trick I’ve learned that has helped me in these situations. It’s simple yet effective, and it’s all about perspective.

I’m suggesting that you switch from your own perspective to that of the person who is offending you. The initial resistance will be that you don’t want to see things from their side. When someone is rude to me, the last thing I want to do is empathize with them. But this is, in fact, one of the strongest and bravest things to do in that moment.

When a perceived affront happens, take a second to just breathe before doing anything else. Then really look at the situation. This rude person, the person who cut you off, whoever they are, could very well have just found out that their mother died. It’s possible they had been waiting in line for a long time and were late. You don’t know their situation, but if their emotions are already high, they are likely going through something you don’t understand. Sometimes, you accidentally cut someone off because you were about to miss that turn. It happens all the time. You, yourself, can just reach the end of your rope and snap at someone because your stress has been building. We’re all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes, we act in a way against our normal behavior. By understanding and reminding yourself of that in the moment, you can save yourself a lot of trouble.

So, the next time someone does something you don’t like, pause and consider what circumstances might trigger you to act that way. You’ll likely be able to empathize and be more understanding.

One way to become open to the thoughts and perspectives of others is to meditate frequently. I find the more at peace I am with myself, the more easily I can relate to the perspectives of others. Just by taking a few minutes for a quick meditation exercise each day has allowed me to find more peace within myself and in the world around me.

It can be difficult to access empathy or compassion in hard times, but just recognize that sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to allow you to let go of the negativity coming your way and live your life just a bit happier.